THE CHARCOAL EXPRESS

What do you normally do after buying a very delectable roasted chicken? Of course, you eat it right away!  Find out what a friend of mine did to hers when she got one.  This is a real story and God only knows what she was thinking by the time this incident happened.

A girl friend of mine was about to take her off the next two days so she decided to buy herself a roasted chicken she saw from a restaurant.  She usually takes her orders out to satisfy her hunger back at home.  No one else cooks for her so she’s often foodless and knowing her that well, she cannot fight her number one temptation – eating. 

And so she bought the chicken, placed it inside her bag, moved her way home.  When she arrived, she saw her nephew, whom she always love to cuddle and play with, and decided to look over him since her brother and sister-in-law were nowhere close.  She walked upstairs, got in her room, put her bag down and changed clothes.  She spent most of her time that day taking care of her favorite kid. 

Then came the next two days of her rest, who knew what else she did on these times but most of it had been allotted for her nephew.  She became an instant mother she felt good about it! 

Her non-working days passed by then came the start of her laboring week.  She felt the need to arrange her things up and prepare for work.  When she opened her bag, she found something familiar.  It’s the roasted chicken!  The roasted chicken she bought three days ago still resides in her bag.  Unbelievable!  Even she could not imagine how it slipped on her mind.  It was supposed to be a delightful chicken but it turned out awful.  Oh how gross would that smell being rotten inside the bag for three days.  That’s three long days! 

Hey girl, you should have eaten the chicken and not let the bag do the job for you. 

Well, I have to understand her.  She’s working on a graveyard shift not counting the fact that she’s also out of sleep.  I always tell her that her boobies are not enough to get away and excuse her from being absent minded at times.   

Sigh, pity the roasted chicken!  Tsk, tsk, tsk…

Three of my lady team mates and I were deciding when to take our Microsoft Certification exams.  One member was coordinating with the testing centre and the other two were talking to me about something and as usual, unrelated to our workloads.  Talk about work ethics, huh.  Anyway, so we were waiting for confirmation from the representative and lucky enough we were given respective schedules for the tests.  Two examiners will be on May 13 and the rest will be on May 14.  I picked May 14 because I do not like the number 13.  It is not about superstitions but I just do not like that number.  So everything has been settled down and we were pretty much happy about it.

Lady1:  “Are we fine about the schedule?”

Lady2:  “Yes, I’m fine with May 13 but I will take the morning schedule of the exam.”

Lady1:  “That’s fine with me. How about you guys?”

Lady3:  “Close the deal.  I will be in the morning and he will be in the afternoon.”

Me:  “That’s okay.  I will take it because I have no other choice.”

Lady1:  “Okay then.  The payment will be COD.”

Lady2 and Lady3:  “Okay.”

Me:  “COD?”

Lady2:  “Yes, cash on delivery.  Don’t you know that?”

Me:  “I know what COD means.”

Lady2:  “Okay.”

Me:  “So when are we going to pay for it?”

Lady2 and Lady3:  “Huh?”

Lady2:  “It’s COD, remember? Cash on delivery.”

Me:  “Oh okay, so when are we paying if it’s COD?”

All of a sudden, I realized I asked a stupid question.  I have lost it …

It happened yesterday.

I felt my lips getting dried so I wanted to put on some lip balm.  My only misfortune was that I did not have my own Chapstick (no adverts here) at that moment and I badly needed one because my lips would tear apart if I have not applied some balm on it.  I approached my friend, a woman, who has a complete set of makeup.  She has the complete package so I thought a simple lip balm would fit well on her kit.  She was exchanging instant messages with someone at that instance but I still asked her about the lip balm.  Here goes our conversation.

Me:  “Hey friend.  Do you have a Chapstick?”

Friend:  (Paused then looked at me and back to the PC monitor.) “No, I do not have one.  But I have a spoon here in my paper bag.” (Then she reached inside the paper bag to get the spoon.)

Me:  “Huh?!!!” (I gave her the stare to make her realize that we were not on the same page.)

Friend:  (Paused and then stared back at me.) You mean CHOPSTICKS, right? (With her two fingers acting like chopsticks.)

Me:  “Duh, no.  I mean Chapstick.  Chapstick!!! (With my fingers touching my lips as if I was applying a lipstick on.)

Friend:  “Oh, okay.” (And then she pulled out the Chapstick from her bag and lent it to me.)

Me:  (Laughing.) “It is okay friend.  That is so normal for people who have been into anesthesia.”

We had bursts of laughter afterwards.  It was a good way to end the day for the both of us.  I got what I needed while she had another blooper to tell.